Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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