Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i dont even know how to be here
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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