i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
