Yo dont text me then not text me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
