That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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