theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize