I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
