im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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