He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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