That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
