2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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