Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
