its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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