I will die if light touches me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
