69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
