Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This baby is an asshole
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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