there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
