I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
