remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
