we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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