Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize