his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
