walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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