Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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