hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
