TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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