dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize