that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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