We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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