it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
