She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
