Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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