It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
