I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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