i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
