my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
