is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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