But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
