I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
