Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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