i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
