do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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