lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
