your room smells of hookers.
And success
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
