Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
