normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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