I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
