I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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