you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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