you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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