he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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