Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
where am i from again
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
