That's intense
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
