Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
