Sponge bath it is.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Let's get the cat blown out
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
