let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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