My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
