Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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