I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Enjoy the penises
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
