Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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