He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
