If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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