when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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