Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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