Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
