Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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