I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
