Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
where am i from again
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize