I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
