So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
