I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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