Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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