I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
