I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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