real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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