wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
